Friday 20 May 2016

...and a terrible work week closes

As I am on the verge of signing out for this week, I realize that a rather crappy work week is coming to a close. We all have one of these some time or another... just that I haven't had one such terrible week in a while.

Why was this so bad? Well, for starters I realized that the pay hike we were looking forward to is not going to be as good as it was initially thought to be, and since my contract is up for renewal, it seems that given the weak financial situation, I will not have much leeway in getting a better deal either. Given the enhanced expenses, thanks to committing to the USMLE, I really was hoping for a bigger raise... it will be a major challenge to save up for the exams now.

Second, I have been working on a couple of key publications and I just cannot seem to be able to make them come out the way I want. I have been delving and diving through literature and published papers, non-peer reviewed reports and the whole hog, trying to figure out the best way forward. For now, it seems like I am treading water, and the faster I try to move, the quicker I tire out but have no significant gain in forward momentum.

Third, I have been so caught up with work and managing time for studying, that in between, I have not been able to talk to the significant people in my life for a decent skip of time. And given that my significant other lives in a completely different time zone, things that were already difficult are becoming more difficult to manage. (Yes, I am in an insanely long distance relationship, and I have the tendency to worry about it when everything else around me is crashing down like a house of cards.)

And finally, studies. Well. The long and short of it is that it is not happening. I did try to plan the studies and work it into a meaningful schedule that allows me to study around my work hours. Unfortunately, it turns out that catching up on hard topics (I am thinking Autonomic Pharmacology here) after four or five years of a gap is a bit of a toughie. And I have managed to shoot myself in the foot thinking that instead of starting with soft topics, I should have a go at the more difficult ones to begin with, since my motivation is high. So much for the high motivation then...

I need one of the three major aspects of my life to start working out (relationship, work, and studying for the USMLE - which includes financial planning and saving up!) ASAP. That way at least I can draw inspiration from ONE thing that is going right in life.

I am so glad that it is Friday, although I guess I will have to keep working on the manuscripts over the weekend so that I can turn them in on time. I have no idea how to balance that with studying and working in some facetime for the One Across The World.


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